Looking for salvation

I really hope my salvation will come soon. I am really drowning in my difficulties, and despite every effort to keep myself alive, I feel that I may not last much longer unless this miracle comes to me.

She is in name, my friend. But the way she behaves, I would rather she were my enemy. So much for friendship, but she only talks when I am sian, never talking when I am trying to be happy. Doesn't she realize, that just one day would have fulfilled the prophecy and extended my life? But when I am trying to be happy, she would always be busy, with other people, other things, other people who mean more to her than I do.

I would much rather that she is my enemy. Then I could hate her wholeheartedly, go all out to fight with her, look at her with malice in my life, and not now, with confusion. I tried ways and means to leave hidden messages to her. Is my cryptography really so good that she could not understand?

I think I made my hidden messages clear enough to her, and I think she should know the hidden message, the message that she really better reply to me, better not continue to ignore me.

But this one still small issue. The big issue is worse. Totally dun want to reply. It is not that I dun get it. It is she who doesn't get it. She doesn't get it that I am not going to give up until I die, which I will if she continues to do this. This is literally the end of the world for me, I am really at my wits' end. I dunno exactly what the fuck am I supposed to do now.

For those of you who know who I am talking about, please try to help me. For those who dunno, please do not try to guess. For those who are gossiping or insist on trying to guess, please fuck off.